Woodsdrummer

Eric,

I like your website.

I am of the minimalist/ old tech persuasion on backpacking, but I like to sleep warm. I have spent a LOT of time running around in the Mokelumne Wilderness in the Sierra, and I love it up there.

Anyhow, the real topic of my letter is, I am wondering as to the specifics and use for the "ass rag" you talk about. Is it a substitute for toilet paper, and, if so, how do you acquire/make and use one?

Joe

Hi Joe,

The ass-rag is indeed a toilet paper substitute. Here's the poop.

The ass-rag is simply a handkerchief (I use mine for this as well!) size piece of cloth is used to wipe ones rear. After the process, the rag can be rinsed, dried, then used many times over.

I fashion my ass-rags from old cotton t-shirts. I lay the shirt down flat, and cut up the sides turning the shirt into a sort of poncho. I separate the two main halves then finish off by trimming off the collar and sleeves. Presto! Two ass-rags!

Most people I know use their rags dry and keep it stored in a zip lock bag. I, on the other hand, prefer to wet my rag with water, wringing it before I use it. Not only does the wet rag do its job better, but it's also easier to rinse out when I'm through. A wet rag is also less abrasive---always a good thing when it comes to wiping!

As long as we're on the subject of wiping, the following is a short tutorial on "smoothing it".

Let's cut to the chase. If we were to compare our quantity of body hair to that of a dog's well some of us would be a Mexican Hairless and some an English Sheep Dog. I tend to fall somewhere in between. Anyway.

Having been involved in the veterinary field for over fourteen years, I've noticed that certain animals have a hard time keeping things clean back there, mainly due to the hair. A quick trimming usually takes care of the problem, allowing what wants to fall...to fall.

OK, I think you know where I'm going with this but here's another example...

How many times have you started to wipe...continued to wipe...wiped some more...re-evaluated...wiped again, refilled the dispenser, wiped, then finally gave up, disgusted that things weren't getting any better?

The main cause of the above "fecasco"? You guessed it. Hair.

When grass and mud are combined, it begins to form an adobe type mixture. The same process can occur between ones cheeks under the right conditions. Once this butt-dobe sets up, it can begin to house bacteria which can lead to itching, rashes and other discomforts. Get my drift?

Here it is. Whenever I'm planning to head off into the wilderness for any extended length of time, I prefer to shall we say mow the grass a little.

Of course some mowing methods that are far safer than others. For example you wouldn't want to jump into the ditch and start hacking away at the grass with a razor sharp machete after all there are certain type of trimmers that would be better for that kind of work. In other words, use the right tool for the job.

Well, I'm sure this has been a very interesting read---it sure was interesting to write.

Just remember that personal hygene is an important part of wilderness travel. If you stumble across a new trick that helps you stay healthier and therefore happier, by all means, do it---just don't write about it and decide to post it on a website for the whole world to read.

Speaking of tricks, be sure to check out my good friend Bill Hay's excellent "Dumpology 101" article. It's a gas!

Eric